No Longer Want to Do Anything : Is My Life Over?
 |
| Feeling like there is no way out is a common struggle at nineteen |
The Problem:
I am a 19-year-old young man from the United Kingdom, and I have a problem.
I need help.
I don’t know what to do anymore.
I hate myself and my life… and honestly, I just want to end everything.
My mental health is very bad, and it’s affecting my emotional life and my daily life. I don’t know who can help me anymore.
Over the past few months, my mental health has gotten much worse. I’ve reached a point where I starve myself and hate every day I wake up.
I feel like the problem is within me. I feel deeply depressed because of it, as if I don’t want to do anything in my life. Many small issues have piled up until I reached a breaking point.
I have about two friends… but I barely see one of them.
I’ve also been unemployed for a long time, and I have no motivation to apply for jobs or even do anything.
This is one of the main problems. I constantly feel like I’m not good enough for the girl I’m talking to, and that she doesn’t really want to be with me.
The problem started when my ex-girlfriend left me. Even though I’m now with another girl, I’m afraid she will leave me too.
I don’t think she will
she treats me well
but my previous experience made me afraid. It was that past relationship that started making me feel this way.
I’m afraid she will leave me too.
 |
| Sometimes, the weight of the past can feel overwhelming |
The Answer:
My friend, you have faced a problem that many of us encounter in life.
We might call it betrayal
or, in softer words, the loss of security in someone you believed was your support.
Let’s try to reach a solution together through these points:
1. Why is this sadness happening to me?
This is an emotional issue. As humans, we are all controlled by emotions to different degrees. So it’s natural that this problem affects you and disrupts your life.
How can you work when you feel unsafe?
This is the root of the issue affecting you and your relationships — even your two friends. You may not want to see them often, not out of hatred, but because you simply don’t want anything anymore.
It feels like life has no value.
So why want friendship? Why want work? Why want anything?
2. Why do I feel all this pain?
This feeling is very common, especially at the beginning of adulthood. I personally went through this feeling before.
Life changes.
We all go through emotional struggles.
We love someone because we want a partner who stands beside us, understands us, and shares a future with us.
But life isn’t always what we expect.
Just as it gives us good things, it may also give us painful ones
not because it hates us, but because it strengthens us.
If the girl you built your future around
the one you imagined outings with, a home with, children with
leaves you, then of course you will feel deep pain.
3. Why such cruelty when we love them?
When this happens, we ask ourselves:
Why do people leave us even though we love them?
Why do they treat our hearts so harshly?
But let me be a little honest and firm with you:
They are not doing this to us.
We are doing it to ourselves.
How?
We don’t just want any girl
we want a life partner.
And if we want the best for ourselves, we must choose wisely.
Maybe your ex was beautiful, and you felt comfortable with her. Maybe you wanted to continue. But what if she didn’t want you? Or what if she simply wasn’t right for you?
Should you continue anyway?
Of course not.
4. Why do we need love?
You need a girl who truly loves you
not someone just to spend Valentine’s Day with.
She left you, right?
But life gave you someone else.
You have someone new now, but you’re afraid she’ll do the same as the previous one.
So you need to understand three things:
- Why did she choose you?
- Is her love genuine?
- How can you grow in the relationship? (For example, many women value feeling heard, feeling safe, feeling appreciated.)
Most importantly, learn from your previous experience.
That experience should be a lesson
not a punishment.
Learn. Don’t suffer.
 |
| Small steps, like journaling and a warm cup of coffee, can lead to a brighter perspective |
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
1. Is it normal to feel like a failure at 19 or 20?
Yes, it is completely normal. This age is a transitional period where you are expected to figure out your entire life, career, and relationships all at once.
Many young men feel overwhelmed and "behind" their peers. Remember, life is not a race, and your value is not defined by your employment status or your relationship at this age.
2. How do I regain motivation when I don't want to do anything?
When you reach a breaking point, don't try to change everything at once.
Start with "micro-habits." If you can't apply for a job today, just commit to waking up at the same time or going for a 5-minute walk. Motivation follows action, not the other way around. Once you move your body, your mind will slowly follow.
3. Why does my past relationship still affect my current one?
This is called "Relationship Trauma" or "Emotional Baggage."
When a person you trusted leaves you, your brain develops a defense mechanism to protect you from being hurt again.
This creates fear and insecurity with your new partner.
The solution is communication; talk to your current partner about your fears instead of letting them turn into "self-sabotage."
4. What should I do if my family or friends don't understand my depression?
Not everyone is equipped to understand mental health struggles.
If your current circle doesn't provide support, look for "anonymous communities" or professional chat supports (like the one below). Sometimes, talking to a stranger who understands the psychology of pain is more helpful than talking to a friend who just tells you to "cheer up."
5. Can starving myself actually make my depression worse?
Absolutely. There is a strong link between your gut and your brain.
When you starve yourself, your brain lacks the nutrients needed to produce "Serotonin" (the happy hormone).
This creates a vicious cycle: you feel depressed, so you don't eat, which makes your brain more depressed. Breaking this cycle starts with small, healthy meals to give your mind the energy to fight back.
Conclusion:
Be strong
because women are attracted to strength.
If a girl leaves, then she was either not sincere or not right for you. So don’t be sad…
We look forward to your comments and your stories.
You can share your problem anonymously below without registration.
You can also send your story or problem via email:
180dud@gmail.com
If you need urgent help or immediate chat support, we have attached a free chat at the end of every article so you can speak freely.
No restrictions. No registration.
We are here for you. 👇 The chat is below.
Post a Comment