I’m Alone with No Friends and No Clear Career : Am I a Failure? [The Answer]
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| A powerful symbolic representation of the internal struggle against family bullying and social judgment, highlighting that true value comes from within. |
The Struggle
A friend shared his story and a deeply personal struggle just minutes ago, looking for a solution. He said:
"I’m a 20-year-old young man living in the United States, and I have a problem I’m trying to solve.
The problem is that I feel like I have nothing. I haven’t had friends for a long time.
I used to have some, but we drifted apart because they moved to another place.
Then we moved as well, and now I have no one close to me except my family
my older brother, my younger brother, my father, and my mother.
Even so, I don’t feel comfortable with them. My older brother constantly has issues with me.
He doesn’t appreciate me; instead, he makes fun of me and my appearance
the same way classmates used to bully me when I was younger.
As for my younger brother, I feel like he’s very annoying.
I know these are normal problems, but what hurts the most is that my parents are kind people, and I love them very much.
I try to spend my day doing hobbies
playing games on my phone or watching movies on TV
but I still feel unhappy, like everything is meaningless.
I tried to focus on my studies, but I haven’t had any friends since high school.
Some people told me that my face is the problem
that I should smile more.
Even in college, I can’t figure out what suits me. I haven’t made progress in any field, course, or even a game.
I’ve also developed communication issues. I can’t connect with people anymore, and I don’t like initiating conversations.
I feel distracted and believe I’ll end up with nothing more than a low-paying job."
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| This image captures the essence of loneliness mixed with a vision of a better future, showing that even in isolation, there is a space for reflection and hope. |
The Answer
To solve this problem, we must first define the problem, then the solution, and then start working.
1. The Perception of Failure
You feel like you haven’t achieved any goals. That feeling is actually a good sign it means you have an inner drive. However, twenty years is a very short time to judge yourself as a failure.
I know people who are 40 years old, living peacefully, who haven’t achieved major "visible" goals.
When I asked them why, they simply said: “We did what we could.” I’m not saying they’re right.
I’m saying this: we don’t control the results.
We only control the effort. When results come and how they come that’s not fully in our hands.
2. Identifying the Real Issues
To create realistic solutions, let’s define your problems clearly:
- Bullying and lack of appreciation within the family.
- Social isolation (No friends).
- Unclear career and academic path.
- The internal pressure of trying to prove yourself.
These are normal struggles many people go through.
You’re not alone. The good thing is that you’re asking for help instead of silently suffering.
3. The Bullying & Respect Problem
This is the most important issue because it shapes your personality.
- If you stay silent, people may label you as weak.
- If you react aggressively, the situation may escalate.
- If you try to fix it, they might not listen.
So what should you do? First, understand why people (like your older brother) behave this way:
- Personality Incompatibility: He might have a humor style that doesn't match yours. In this case, speak firmly: “I don’t like this kind of joke.” Then leave the room to show you are serious.
- Showing Off: Some people mock others to gain attention or feel superior. This is a trait of narcissistic personalities. Your response depends on the situation: stay silent (out of wisdom, not fear), involve a parent, or mirror their behavior strategically.
- Provocation: They might be trying to upset you because your presence makes them uncomfortable or challenges their behavior.
- Share your story: You can send your story anonymously in the comments below or through our email.
180dud@gmail.com
- Need to talk? If you ever need someone to talk to or need free support, click the Blue Live Chat box at the bottom of our website. Open a ticket and speak with us immediately.
4. The Root Problem: The Struggle Within
Here’s a secret: Your feeling usually appears in people who struggle between wanting to be a leader (entrepreneur) and being an employee.
You’ve tried many hobbies because you want to be useful, but you haven't progressed because you’re fighting yourself. You’re trying to please others at the expense of your own identity.
Here’s a hard truth: People will only truly pay attention when you succeed.
It doesn’t matter how you succeed or when.
The world even those who love you doesn't care about the process as much as the result. Whether you succeed early or later, as a business owner or an employee, these are paths you choose, and you will harvest their results.
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| A realistic and uplifting image showing the final goal: a young man who has found his confidence, successfully navigating the world and connecting with society. |
Frequently Asked Questions
1. Why do I feel like I have nothing at 20?
Because you’re still building.
At 20, life hasn’t even fully started yet.
You’re in the phase of exploration, confusion, comparison, and self-doubt.
That doesn’t mean you’re behind.
It means you’re human.
Most people at this age are still trying to understand who they are.
The problem is not that you have nothing.
The problem is that you’re measuring yourself too early.
Growth is quiet.
It doesn’t always look impressive from the outside.
2. Why does bullying from family hurt more than bullying from strangers?
Because family is supposed to feel safe.
When teasing or criticism comes from someone close, it touches deeper layers of your identity.
It doesn’t just feel like a joke
it feels like rejection.
But sometimes, people don’t realize the weight of their words. Some joke to feel powerful.
Some repeat behavior they grew up with.
Some don’t understand sensitivity.
Your feelings are valid. But their behavior is not a definition of your worth.
3. What if I can’t make friends anymore?
Social confidence is like a muscle.
If you stop using it, it feels weak. That doesn’t mean it’s gone.
It just needs gentle practice.
Start small: Smile once.
Say one short sentence.
Ask one simple question.
Connection doesn’t require perfection.
It requires presence.
And you don’t need many friends. You need one real connection.
4. Why do I feel lost in college and career choices?
Because you’re discovering yourself.
Clarity doesn’t come before action
it comes after experience. Sometimes you need to try something to realize it’s not for you.
Feeling lost is not failure. It’s a stage between who you were and who you’re becoming.
You’re not supposed to have everything figured out yet.
5. How do I stop feeling like I’ll end up with a low-paying job and no future?
Fear speaks louder than reality.
Your mind is trying to predict a future based on today’s emotions.
But emotions are temporary.
They change. Situations change.
Instead of thinking about “the rest of your life,” focus on the next small step: Improve one skill.
Finish one course. Apply for one opportunity.
A future is built quietly, step by step.
6. Is loneliness permanent?
No.
Loneliness feels permanent when you’re inside it.
But it’s often a transition period
a space where you’re learning about yourself more deeply.
Some of the strongest personalities were shaped during lonely years.
You are not stuck.
You are in progress.
Conclusion
At Hope To Talk, we work voluntarily to help solve the problems you face and share them so others can benefit.
We are here for you.
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